How Can I Stay Away?

In the last two weeks, many of my friends have asked how I can stay away from that sweet little boy? How can I stand not being with him? I have been thinking about how to respond...First, I imagine this waiting period is much like being pregnant for 9 months. While 9 months of pregnancy is certainly not the same as waiting for an adoption to finalize, the sense of excitement about meeting the baby for the first time I think is. Second, I have known for over a year that I would have to endure these months of waiting...I have been preparing mentally and emotionally for this exact time frame, and while it is a difficult period of time, I also know that soon it will be over, and I will be with my son from that point on. Third, last year I set several financial and professional goals for myself in order to make this time go by a bit more quickly. I am working towards those goals as I write, and things are going well. My goals keep me focused and busy. May 1, for me, is really not so far away... only 4-5 weeks of work (traveling), two rooms to be painted, several days of yard work, entertaining guests, March Madness, a weekend or two away from town with Christian and many hours in the gym. Plus, I keep myself busy with preparing for Chrisitan Diego's arrival every day...researching the best car seats and strollers, shopping around town for the best deal, journaling in this blog, printing and framing pictures, and emailing my parents who are in Guatemala with Diego right now. Last, and I know this may sound selfish, but I spent 6 years consumed with other people's children when I was teaching. I spent last year traveling like a maniac with AVID. This is the first year for as long as I can remember that I haven't felt overworked, underpaid, stressed out or overwhelmed. I am enjoying the time off that I have to reflect, think, and prepare for motherhood. When May hits, that's it. Forever my life changes and forever I will be responsible for not only my life, but the life of another human being. That's a lot to comprehend for someone who has only had to worry, for the most part, about herself for 31 years. I just ordered the book, Perfect Madness, a new publication about mothering in an age of anxiety and the pursuit of perfectionism. For those of you who know me well, you can see why I am drawn to this book. I don't want to be a perfectionistic mother...an anxious mother...and so I am going to enjoy the last few months I have of sleeping in, conforming to my own whims, taking care of myself and enjoying the few hours of the day I have to spend with my husband. This is how I will survive the next few months.